So, because she is thoughtful, when Mrs. Gee sent me a thank-you note for hosting her, she included a roll of the tape:
(Ummm, for the record, I have spent many nights at the Gee home and even treated it as my own personal hotel back when I had regular court appearances and depositions in the area, and never did I send a thank-you note. So... thank you, Gee fam.)
Mrs. Gee was right, the tape is a miracle. Why, then, is the packaging so lame? Not only does it not include any instructions for the tape (How much should I use? Should I apply pressure for a certain amount of time?), but it has one of the stupidest legal disclaimers I have ever seen:
If you can't make it out from my blurry photograph, it says "Decorative Items Not Included." Oh really? Because I thought there was an area rug and a wood floor stuffed into that 4"x4" quasi-box. Now I want my money back. Errr, Mrs. Gee's money back.
Did I mention this is a Wal*Mart product? I don't know if it says more about the average Wal*Mart customer or Wal*Mart's stellar opinion of the average Wal*Mart customer, but it surely says something and yet nothing about how to use the tape.
Also, does anyone know if Wal*Mart's legal department is hiring? Because I could seriously write these things. All day. While surfing the Internet, no less. And taping rugs to the floor. And wearing a blue vest.